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变化才是真

时间:2023-09-23 百科知识 版权反馈
【摘要】:许多人将简洁与简短混为一谈,其实二有很大区别。简洁的主旨是用尽量少的词汇讲述整个故事,简短的主旨则是为保持文章篇幅短小,精心撰写或随意删除文中的某些词语或章节。简洁并不意味着总写短句子。事实上,如果句式缺乏变化,文章就会显得支离破碎,缺少联系,让人觉得写作技巧贫乏。句式的变化能令文章协调而流畅,会让读者感觉到作者对主题把握得游刃有余。

许多人将简洁与简短混为一谈,其实二有很大区别。简洁的主旨是用尽量少的词汇讲述整个故事,简短的主旨则是为保持文章篇幅短小,精心撰写或随意删除文中的某些词语或章节。

简洁并不意味着总写短句子。事实上,如果句式缺乏变化,文章就会显得支离破碎,缺少联系,让人觉得写作技巧贫乏。句式的变化能令文章协调而流畅,会让读者感觉到作者对主题把握得游刃有余。虽然短句没什么语法错误,但用得太多会使本应合在一起的意思分离开来。

记住:不要使用一串串短的、支离破碎的句子。要理清自己的思路,尽量使句子长度有所变化。

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Before:The Art of Strategy was written by Sun Tzu. It is afifty-six-hundred-word Chinese classical work. The writer put forth a set ofprinciples in a very tightly compressed manner. They deal with how to defeatoppositions and win battles.

这种表达的问题在于:

(1) 简单的“主语+谓语”结构太多;

(2) "written"和"writer", "TheArt of Strategy"和" It","set of principles"和"they"为重复用语;

(3) 读起来很单调。

AfterInhis fifty-six-hundred word classic, The Art of Strategy, Sun Tzu putforth a tightly compressed set of principles for achieving triumph overopposition.

介词结构+同位语+主语+谓语的形式比较好,因为将"SunTzu" 放到了最重要成分-主语的位置,其他成分按逻辑排序居次要地位。整个句子很流畅。 

再看下面各例: 

Choppy: Of course, the weapons at Sun Tzu's time werequite primitive. The armies were very large. They were nearly as large as thosein World War Two. The devastation and human sufferings were just as profound asin World War Two.

Better: Compared with World War Two, the weapons at SunTzu's time were quite primitive, but the armies were nearly as large and thedevastation and human suffering just as profound.   

Choppy: Proverbs are short sayings. They are drawn fromlong experience.

Better: Proverbs are short sayings drawn from longexperience. 

Choppy: People change and places change as well.Jennifer felt this strongly. She had been away for eleven years.

Better: On returning after an eleven-year absence,Jennifer had a strong feeling of how people and places change.    

Choppy: Beijing streets are crowded with taxis, companycars and private vehicles owned by the newly affluent. The number has beenrising rapidly in the last few years. The latest statistics show there are now1.2 million vehicles in Beijing alone.

Better: Taxis, company cars and private vehicles ownedby the newly affluent have crammed Beijing streets in rising numbers in thelast few years - 1.2 million vehicles at last count. 

Choppy: Moby Dick is a book. It is a long book.It is about a whale. A man named Ahab tries to kill it. Herman Melville wroteit.

Better: Herman Melville wrote a long book called MobyDick. It is the story of a struggle of a man against a whale. 

Choppy: Thousands of buildings met the same fate. This aloneis now being preserved. It marks the center of the nuclear explosion. It isbeing preserved as a symbol. It symbolizes our wish that there be no moreHiroshimas.

Better: Of the thousands of buildings that met the samefate, this alone, marking the center of the nuclear explosion, is now beingpreserved to symbolize our wish that there be no more Hiroshimas. 

Choppy: I have always had a dream. My dream has been tobe a famous writer. Everyone would read my books. I would become very wealthy.

Better: I have always dreamed of being a wealthy,famous writer, read by everyone. 

Choppy: This is a wreck. It was formerly the statelyImperial Garden. It is preserved deliberately as a reminder and symbol. 

Better: This wreck, formerly the stately ImperialGarden, is preserved deliberately as a reminder and symbol.

英语的一个显著特征是它可轻易地把简单结构(一个中心意思)转化为复合结构(两个中心意思)和复杂结构(一个中心意思和一个从属意思)甚至转化为复合-复杂结构(两个或以上的意思)。主句,又称独立句,表达可独立成句的思想内容。从句,又称非独立句,表达不能独立成句,而需与主句一起构成完整的思想内容。

达到句式多变的最佳期途径是把关键词或短语换到开头或结尾,从中发现达到你的目的和适合你的品味的最好方法。通过连接短句--省词,增词,改变词序或把不那么重要的思想放到从句中去--你就可以写出更流畅,成熟的句子。 

例:  

Before: Lu Hao graduated last summer. He joined theFirst Auto Works in Changchun soon after graduation. He received an engineeringdegree from his college.

采用从句能将这三个简单句以不同方式连接起来。

After: Aftergraduating last summer with an engineering degree, Lu Hao soon joined the FirstAuto Works in Changchun.

(介词结构 + 主语 + 谓语)

或 An engineering degree-holder, Lu Haojoined the First Auto Works in hangchun last summer soon after graduation.

(同位语 + 主语 + 谓语 +状语)

或:Having graduated with an engineeringdegree, Lu Hao joined the First Auto Works in Changchun last summer.

(状语+ 主语 + 谓语)

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