为什么纠错

第四节　为什么纠错

汉译英方法、技巧和相关知识全都体现在具体的句子之中。句子也是大多数情况下人们讨论翻译问题的基本单位。本书绝大多数举例均以句子为“翻译单位”。

这套教材采用了“纠错”为主的教学方式，大多数例句都列举了以前学生的错译（具体情况请见“使用说明”）。本书所收例句的D类和C类译文都是以前的同级学生所做——这么讲比较婉转。更为直接的说法是：本书所收例句中，以前的同级学生所做的大多数是D类和C类译文。有位学生看了部分书稿之后发来邮件，说这么做“只是为了证明我们的译文有多烂”。笔者公开承认：直观感觉可能如此，但是希望说明的是：真正“烂”的并未全部收录，列举不是为了指责刚刚拿到这本教材的读者，而是为了解决目标学生可能出现的典型问题，因为他们学习英语的环境和过程与这些译文的译者大同小异。

凡事都是相对的；既然错误的译文比例大，那么是不是这些例句的汉语原文太难了？对这个发问的回答一定会见仁见智，笔者的建议是请各位读者翻看几页，自行判断；笔者的回答则是：这些例句的汉语原文，大都是高中程度的人即可明白的，所要求的英语译文应当是大一程度能够看懂的，而这本教材的目标读者是大二下学期或大三学生，还是以“英语”为核心词的各专业。

译者写下译文的过程，读者阅读的过程，考官评阅译文的过程，往往都是以句子为单位的。因此，本书例句均以句子为单位，且都是经过精挑细选再编排在这里的。仔细研究一番每个例句的典型问题，每章都能琢磨几个十几个典型的例句，正是“学习”本身，有利于实现从量变到质变的转化。

国内一些精读和英汉翻译课程的课文解释无微不至，所附译文千锤百炼，但学了之后，正如多数例子所证明的那样，真正达到相应程度的只是少数人；仅仅罗列正确的译文自然是正面教学，但仍然是精读课程的继续，仍然是阅读的性质，仍然是纯输入的方式。而翻译需要的是正确的表达，或者说基于积极输入的创造性输出。

仅仅给出正确的译文，有些学生看后会感叹“译得真好啊”，便以为自己学会了（因为人的阅读能力十分强），有些则心生自卑甚至反感。把标准译文奉为圭臬，是对学生主动性的继续戕害，不利于形成批判性思考能力，不利于学以致用。按照这里的编排方式，即可看到同侪（实际也是自己）在汉译英方面的主要问题，也可看到改进的方法和技巧，可能对一部分学生还是有些良性激励作用的。

汉译英工作应当是一种“慢餐”课程，但因课堂时间有限，需要课外自行阅读并做练习。寄希望于快餐式的某种捷径，也许可以成为某些快餐型教材和课程的优秀客户，却难以成为具备核心竞争力的翻译人员。现在的编排方式有助于综合应对。由于讨论的多为典型问题，现有的编排和讨论方式还有利于刺激目标学生，借此似可调动读者参与的积极性。同时，在解决实际存在的多样化问题的同时，纠错的教学方式和例句编排有利于保护并鼓励译文多样化；读者可以在解决某一主题问题的同时复习其他方面，训练读者及时识别每句的所有问题。

罗列典型的错译，笔者真正的“私心”正是希望读者能先挑一些例句自己做一做，再拿自己的译文对照所列的译文，这样有利于发现自己的问题。这套教材的教学宗旨是帮助学生做好自己的翻译（不仅仅是示范好的汉译英什么样），所以修改版的译文都以学生原译文为基础。这些译文各有各的问题，应当区别对待；拿自己的译文对比已经排列并简评的各种译文，可以大大降低请求别人帮忙批改自己所译的必要性；尤其重要的是：利用别人的失误来学习无需付出代价，花一点时间是必要的成本。

观摩别人的问题，同时分析自己可能存在的问题，相当于体育锻炼过程中的肌肉酸痛，是成长过程中的一部分烦恼，但肯定有利于成长；而假如问题没有给予指出，一时的自我感觉可能十分好，但有可能不太利于技能培养。希望学生自己发现错误并联系所学方法和技巧加以改正，正是“纠错”思路的目的，正是教学内容本身的一大部分，也是目标读者形成比较优势的某种机会。

本章的主题是：提醒读者意识到，看起来容易，做起来未必容易，思想上应当有所准备。后续各章多数例句都收录了许多个D类译文，笔者的短评中一再提及“要认真对待”云云，有时是正面劝导，有时是旁敲侧击，目的都是为了这个立论——这是本书之所以这么编排的依据。

本章的结论是：例句的部分D类译文一再证明，这些译者——亦即假定的本书的目标读者态度有待改进；部分D类和C类译文说明，以单词为单位的英语学习恰恰不利于译对做好汉译英。不管你现在的英语应用能力处于什么样的水平，只有意识到目前所处的位置并愿意主动地往前走，才有可能逐步地有所进步。

同时也愿意说明：编书人针对多种译文进行条分缕析是必要的，因为面对的是许多个独立的个体，希望大家都能从中受益。但是每一位作为个体的读者，可以根据自己学习的目标自行调整时间投入，主要针对与自己译文中表现出来的问题展开阅读和做练习。

总之，拿别人的错译来分析，这是成本最低的学习方式。相信你会仔细阅读每章的介绍和解释，从批判地对待每个例句的每一个译文开始，揣摩每一种译法的异同，充分利用每一个例句，做对、做好每一个练习，真正掌握商务汉译英的方法和技巧，然后学以致用，形成自己在同龄人中汉译英方面的比较优势。

那些部分词语有所重复的不同译文并非无聊的堆砌，那些思路迥异的B类和A类修改版译文并非笔者的卖弄，而是这套教材的“编撰理念”的具体体现，正是汉译英实务工作的“技术含量”所在，正是本书“方法和技巧”为框架的载体本身，正是对传统英汉互译教学方法的些许拓展，正是希望目标学生能够掌握的比较优势。

练习

一、比较与判断

这套教材的目标读者使用手机比较多。为了呼应本章主题，特此安排几个以手机为主题的句子。请阅读各句的译文，按照本书的标记体系（字母D, C, B和A）打分。

请阅读后与同学讨论，首先关注语意是否合乎原文本意，其次基础英语是否正确。每句现有的译文中只有一个是对的或又对又好的（即B或A），请在讨论后指出来。

1. 手机漫游，拨打每分钟两角，接听一角。

(1) It will cost twenty cents for the caller and ten cents for the receiver for mobile roaming charges.

(2) Roaming fee for mobile phones is 2 jiao per minute on calls made, and 1 jiao perminute on calls received.

(3) The mobile phone roaming charges you 0.2 yuan per minute for dialing and 0.1 yuan per minute for receiving.

(4) Roaming charges on using a mobile phone is 0.20 yuan per minute on calls made, and 0.10 yuan per minute on calls received.

2. 去年手机及其零件累计出口345.6亿美元，增长56.7%。

(1) The export of cell phones and their parts/accessories was worth 34.56 billion dollars last year，up by 56.7 percent.

(2) The export of mobile phones and components totalled USD345.6 billion last year, up by 56.7 percent over the year before.

(3) The export value of mobile phones and their spare parts has increased by 56.7 percent and reached up to 34.56 billion dollars last year.

(4) Last year the export of cell phones with its part has accumulated to $ 34.56 billion. Compared with before ,it has increased by 56.7%.

(5) Last year the exports of mobiles and its accessories added up to USD 34.56 billion, increasing to 56.7 percent compared with the one in last year.

(6) Last year the amount of money coming from exportation of mobile phones and their parts was USD 34.56 billion and it surged 56% than that of the previous year.

3. 我手机一千多买的，按美元不到150，欧元也就七八十。

(1) My cell phone cost more than 100, which is less than 150 dollars, about 70 to 80 Euros.

(2) I paid 1 000 yuan for my mobile phone ,that is, no more than 150 dollars or 70 to 80 euros.

(3) I spent 1 000 plus yuan to buy my mobilephone, which is equivalent to less than $150 or ￡70-80.

(4) My cellphone cost cost me more than 1 000 RMB. which equals 150 in USD and ony 70, 80 in EUR.

(5) I bought this cell phone at 1 000 plus Yuan. It should be less than 150 in dollars or 70-80 in Euros.

(6) The mobile phone cost me 1 000 plus yuan, which should be less than 150 in US dollar or 70 to 80 in euros.

(7) My cell phone is worth more than 1 000 Yuan, which equals to less than 150 us dollars and about 70 to 80 euros.

(8) My cell phone cost me more than RMB 1 000 yuan, which is equivalent to less than US$150 or Euro 70 or 80.

(9) The price of my mobilephone was over 1 000 yuan when I bought it, which was lessthan 150 dollars, 70 or 80 euros equally.

(10) The cell phone cost me more than 1 000 Yuan, while | measured in foreign currencies, it is less than 150 dollars, and roughly 70to 80 Euros.

4. 我用手机拍了一段5分钟的录像，然后上传到了电脑里。

(1) I took a 5-minute video by my cell phone, and then uploaded it to the computer.

(2) I made a five minutes video via my mobile phone and uploaded it to my computer.

(3) I have shot a five-minute video with cell phone and then uploaded it to the computer.

(4) I recorded a five-minute video with cellphone, later uploaded the video to the computer.

5. 中国联通宣布将于明年1月底前正式推出3G资费基本套餐。

(1) China Unicom has announced to officially release the 3G discount package before the end of next January.

(2) China Unicom announced that it would officially launch a base package of charges for the 3G line-up mobile phones.

(3) China Unicom announced that it would officially launch the 3G tariff basic package before the end of next January.

(4) China Unicom announced that it will launch 3G Contract Service Tariff Package Scheme formally at the end of April.

(5) China Unicom announced that it would officially launch the 3G basic discount package of telecommunication charges by the end of January next year (in 2012).

二、译文修改

请你仔细审读下面这些译文，指出你认为可以改进的地方，然后提出自己的译文。

1. 甲公司为乙公司独资组建的下属企业。

(1) A company is solely funded by company B and is a subsidiary of it.

(2) Company A is a subsidiary under the sole proprietorship of Company B.

(3) Jia is the subsidiary company of Yi which set up its own subsidiary companies by single proprietorship.

2. 我公司产品大量出口到东南亚及世界各地。

(1) Our products are sold in large quantities to Southeast Asia and all over the world.

(2) Our company exports large quantities of products to the Southeast Asia and the whole world.

(3) The products of our company have been exported in large quantity to Southeast Asia and all over the word.

3. 该公司于上星期一正式宣布变更了商标名称。

(1) The company announced their changing trademark new.

(2) The company formally announced to change their brand name last Monday.

(3) This company announced officially for its changing of its brand name last Monday.

4. 据预计，明年本市烟花供应量在40万箱左右。

(1) According to estimate, firework will supply about 400 000 cartons in own city in next year.

(2) It has been predicted that the supply of our city’s fireworks will be around 0.4 million boxes.

(3) It is estimated that the supplyment of fireworks will be about 4 000 thousand boxes in the local city next year.

5. 九月所涉及的产品配送，我们随后将分别通知。

(1) We will separately inform you for the Sep distribution later.

(2) We will soon inform you the respective goods delivery mentioned in September.

(3) From tomorrow, you would separately receive the notifications of the products distributed in September.

6. 他在上海出席某论坛时表示，深圳房价肯定要涨。

(1) “Shenzhen’s house price must rise” he said when he presented a forum at Shanghai.

(2) “The housing prices of Shenzhen will certainly be raise” He said attending a forum in Shanghai.

(3) In a speech gave during a Shanghai forum, he mentioned, the Shen Zhen real estate price will go up.

7. 该公司在一份当地的报纸上刊登了全版的道歉广告。

(1) This company published a full-page to apology in the local paper.

(2) Published the apology advertisement with entire edition is published in a local newspaper.

(3) Apologizing ad that used a whole page was published by the company in local newspaper.

8. 进一步抓好产品质量，是公司当前工作的重中之重。

(1) Further improving product quality, is now company’s the heaviest work.

(2) Improving product quality is our company’s current major important job.

(3) Further improving the product quality is main task at present of our company.

9. 由于很多管理理论源于美国，因此理论与实践在国内特别容易脱节。

(1) Theory does not accord with practice, especially at home, for many management theories derive from the U.S.

(2) Since many theories on management originated from America, therefore, practice can easily be disjoined with theory domestically.

(3) Many of the management theories derived from America, so it’s obvious that the theory and the practice are easily separated from each other.

10. 他与两位同事以20万元人民币创办了迎新技术公司（迎新控股前身）。

(1) He set up the Yingxin technique company (formerly Yingxin holding company) with two of his colleagues at 0.2million RMB.

(2) With other two colleagues and 200 000 RMB, he founded the Yingxin Technology Company, which was late | named Yingxin Konggu.

(3) He, along with two colleagues, spent RMB 200 000 yuan establishing In-Shin Technology (China) Inc. (the former In-Shin Holding Company).

三、句子翻译

将下面的句子译成英语，注意语意正确、语法正确、用词恰当。

1. 据说市政府即将出台多项救市措施。

2. 现如今，偏远的村寨也可收看3D电视节目了。

3. 作为实习生，每天的工作基本就是校对文件。

4. 只有有了核心技术，我们才能占领市场制高点。

5. 政府这一年的宏观调控政策及时地扶持了楼市。

6. 手机交费有多种方式，例如预付费、按月划扣等等。

7. 来自发改委的统计数据表明，今年楼市价格有所下降。

8. 要拆迁的住房约为200万平方米，待安置的居民大约3 000人。

9. 在中国，是中国银行最早（2006年）在上海推出了“手机银行”。

10. 他每天都会给腾讯微博平台发几条微博，随时更新自己的心情。