A laughable story was circulated during the administration of the old Duke of Newcastle，and retailed to the public in various forms.This nobleman，with many good points，was remarkable for being profuse of his promises on all occasions，and valued himself particularly on being able to anticipate the words or the wants of the various persons who attended his levees，before they uttered a word.This sometimes led him into ridiculous embarrassment；and it was this proneness to lavish promises，which gave occasion for the following anecdote:
At the election of a certain borough in Cornwall，where the opposite interests were almost equally poised，a single vote was of the highest importance.This object the Duke，by well applied argument and personal application，at length attained；and the gentleman he recommended，gained the election.In the warmth of gratitude，his grace poured forth acknowledgments and promises without ceasing，on the fortunate possessor of the casting vote；called him his best and dearest friend；protested，that he should consider himself as forever indebted to him；and that he would serve him by night or by day.
The Cornish voter，who was an honest fellow，and would not have thought himself entitled to any reward，but for such a torrent of acknowledgments，thanked the Duke for his kindness，and told him the supervisor of excise was old and infirm，and，if he would have the goodness to recommend his son-in-law to the commissioners，in case of the old man's death，he should think himself and his family bound to render his grace every assistance in their power，on any future occasion.
“My dear friend，why do you ask for such a trifling employment？”exclaimed his grace；“your relative shall have it the moment the place is vacant，if you will but call my attention to it.”
“But how shall I get admitted to you，my lord？For in London，I understand，it is a very difficult business to get a sight of you great folks，though you are so kind and complaisant to us in the country.”
“The instant the man dies，”replied the Duke，“set out posthaste for London；drive directly to my house，and，be it by night or by day，thunder at the door；I will leave word with my porter to show you upstairs directly；and the employment shall be disposed of according to your wishes.”
The parties separated；the Duke drove to a friend's house in the neighborhood，without a wish or desire to see his new acquaintance till that day seven years；but the memory of the Cornish elector，not being burdened with such a variety of objects，was more retentive.The supervisor died a few months after，and the Duke's humble friend，relying on the word of a peer，was conveyed to London posthaste，and ascended with alacrity the steps of that nobleman's palace.
The reader should be informed，that just at this time，no less a person than the King of Spain was expected hourly to depart this life，an event in which the minister of Great Britain was particularly concerned；and the Duke of Newcastle，on the very night that the proprietor of the decisive vote arrived at his door，had sat up anxiously expecting dispatches from Madrid.Wearied by official business and agitated spirits，he retired to rest，having previously given particular instructions to his porter not to go to bed，as he expected every minute a messenger with advices of the greatest importance，and desired that he might be shown upstairs，the moment of his arrival.
His grace was sound asleep；and the porter，settled for the night in his armchair，had already commenced a sonorous nap，when the vigorous arm of the Cornish voter roused him from his slumbers.To his first question，“Is the Duke at home？”the porter replied，“Yes，and in bed；but has left particular orders that，come when you will，you are to go up to him directly.”
“Bless him，for a worthy and honest gentleman，”cried our applicant for the vacant post，smiling and nodding with approbation at the prime minister's kindness，“how punctual his grace is；I knew he would not deceive me；let me hear no more of lords and dukes not keeping their words；I verily believe they are as honest，and mean as well as any other folks.”Having ascended the stairs as he was speaking，he was ushered into the Duke's bedchamber.
“Is he dead？”exclaimed his grace，rubbing his eyes，and scarcely awakened from dreaming of the King of Spain，“Is he dead？”
“Yes，my lord，”replied the eager expectant，delighted to find the election promise，with all its circumstances，so fresh in the nobleman's memory.
“When did he die？”
“The day before yesterday，exactly at half past one o'clock，after being confined three weeks to his bed，and taking a power of doctor's stuff；and I hope your grace will be as good as your word，and let my son-in-law succeed him.”
The Duke，by this time perfectly awake，was staggered at the impossibility of receiving intelligence from Madrid in so short a space of time；and perplexed at the absurdity of a king's messenger applying for his son-in-law to succeed the King of Spain: “Is the man drunk，or mad？Where are your dispatches？”exclaimed his grace，hastily drawing back his curtain；where，instead of a royal courier，he recognized at the bedside，the fat，good-humored countenance of his friend from Cornwall，making low bows，with hat in hand，and “hoping my lord would not forget the gracious promise he was so good as to make，in favor of his son-in-law，at the last election.”
Vexed at so untimely a disturbance，and disappointed of news from Spain，the Duke frowned for a moment；but chagrin soon gave way to mirth，at so singular and ridiculous a combination of circumstances，and，yielding to the impulse，he sunk upon the bed in a violent fit of laughter，which was communicated in a moment to the attendants.
The relater of this little narrative，concludes，with observing，
“Although the Duke of Newcastle could not place the relative of his old acquaintance on the throne of His Catholic Majesty，he advanced him to a post not less honorable——he made him an exciseman.”
译文 TRANSLATION
在老纽卡斯尔公爵执政期间，坊间流传着一则有关他的佚事，这则佚事在口耳相传中颇有异同，却都令人忍俊不禁。老公爵尽管有很多过人之处，但尤其为人所津津乐道的是他慨于承诺及自诩知人这些特点——他喜欢标榜自己能在朝觐的各色人等开口前就猜出他们要说的话、想办的事，虽然这有时会令他陷入窘境，惹人讪笑。下面这桩佚事就是他大言允诺引出的。
在康沃尔某镇的一次选举中，因为双方旗鼓相当，所以每一票都关系着胜败。公爵凭借他恰到好处的游说及其个人的魅力终于使投票人将至关重要的一票投给了他推荐的那位绅士。在热情洋溢的谢词中，他滔滔不绝地对那位投票人诉说着自己的感激和承诺，把对方称为自己最好的、最尊贵的朋友，并声言自己会永远感激这个人，愿意为他随时效劳。
投票者生性淳朴，若没有这一连串的嘉许，他从未敢想过自己配得上那样的奖赏。他感谢公爵的慷慨，并禀告公爵说，现任税务官已年迈体弱，如果在其百年之后，公爵能向委员会推荐他女婿承乏，他和他的家人将铭记公爵的栽培，没齿不忘。
“我尊贵的朋友，你就请求那样一个微不足道的职位吗？”公爵嚷道，“如果您定要我留意，那么，只要那个职位一出缺，贵婿就可走马上任。”
“不过，大人，我怎么才能谒见您呢？因为我知道，虽然您在乡下对我们这么平和、亲切，但是在伦敦，见您一面却是很难的。”
“那位税务官一去世，”公爵答道，“你就火速赶来伦敦，直接到舍下，无论白天还是晚上，只管敲门。我会吩咐门房直接把您引到楼上；至于那个职位，按您的意思安排就是。”
众人散去。公爵去看望他住在附近的一位朋友，没想过会再见到他这位刚刚结识的新知。但康沃尔那位投票人心无旁骛，故而牢牢记住了公爵的承诺。税务官几个月后去世了，公爵这位卑微的朋友，凭着公爵当年的承诺，就火速赶往伦敦，轻快地登上这位贵人府邸的台阶。
应该告知各位读者的是，恰在这时，西班牙国王也正处弥留之际，而这是公爵非常关心的一件事。就在投票人到他门前的那个夜晚，纽卡斯尔公爵一直在熬夜等待来自马德里的急件。这令他又疲惫又焦躁，就去就寝了。在休息前，他特别嘱咐门房不要睡觉，只待信使一到，就马上把他引到楼上，因为他每一刻都在盼着信使带来的重要讯息。
公爵已熟睡，坐在扶手椅上值夜的门房也已开始打鼾，突然，康沃尔人的敲门声惊醒了他。康沃尔人一上来便问：“公爵睡了吗？”门房答道：“睡了。不过，他已经吩咐只要你一到，就马上上去见他。”
“上帝保佑他，这尊贵、正直的人！”这位康沃尔人，满面春风，频频点头，对公爵的仁厚心怀感激。“大人是多么守信啊，我早知道他是不会骗我的。别再让我听到达官贵人不守信用的话，我由衷地相信他们正直、优秀。”这位请求者边往楼上走边说。门房把他引进公爵的卧室。
“他去世了吗？”公爵一边大声问一边揉着惺忪的睡眼，他刚刚正梦到西班牙国王，“他去世了？”
“是的，大人。”这位热切的期待者，见公爵对当年那一幕记得如此清晰，非常高兴。
“他什么时候去世的？”
“前天，一点半。此前他在病床上已经躺了三个星期，全靠药力维持。祈盼阁下能够信守当日承诺，让我女婿继任。”
这时，公爵完全清醒了。他对在这么短的时间内就能收到来自马德里的情报感到迟疑，同时对国王的信使请求让自己的女婿继任国王这种荒唐事也觉得困惑。
“这人是醉了还是疯了？急件在哪儿？”公爵一边喝问，一边迅速拉开床幔。他认出立在他床边的不是王室信使而是那个他在康沃尔结识的朋友，胖胖的、一脸老实相。现在，这位老朋友正边握着帽子边向他深深鞠躬，口中念念有词：“敬请大人不要忘记上次选举时好心做下的仁慈的承诺，垂爱小婿。”
公爵对这不合时宜的打扰很是愠怒，同时对所谓的来自西班牙的消息也觉得失望，只见他眉峰紧锁，但很快这奇特而又可笑的机缘巧合就让他转怒为喜，继而禁不住倒床大笑，而这一情绪瞬间就传染给周围随从。
这则佚事的转述者敏锐地总结道：“尽管纽卡斯尔公爵没能让旧友的亲戚荣登大宝，成为西班牙国王，但他却将其擢升到一个不那么显赫的职位——他让其当上了税务官。”
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